


i can't comprehend me without you

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack Pairing, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 10:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The first time Harry was caught with Coke, he was in the tour bus bathroom, chugging the soda. Which was difficult, to say the least, because it was so fresh and carbonated. He was pausing to take a breath in-between gulps of flavor explosion when the door flew open." </p><p>or the one where Harry is obligated to drink Pepsi but finds that he really prefers Coke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can't comprehend me without you

**Author's Note:**

> So One Direction did a pepsi commercial and not a coke commercial and I guess I took it awfully personally?? A big thanks to alaserquest for being a wonderful beta and putting up with me the whole time I kept sending her countless messages and emails contemplating just what the hell I was doing with my life. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not and cannot own real people. This is a work of fiction and is not meant to make assumptions about anyone's sexuality. If you are even slightly related to anyone involved in this fic, please turn back now. 
> 
> Lastly, no matter how this sounds, it actually IS just about One Direction making a deal with Pepsi. That's it.

"Who?"

"From One Direction." Liam's voice came from behind him.

Harry felt the boys' presence and smiled. He knew he had their support

They'd run through this so many times, Harry knew what he was supposed to do next. He waited for Louis' "Platinum album" but it never came

He turned around and suddenly he was alone. He turned back to Drew and he looked- well, he looked completely fucked up. His hair was gone and his scalp was turning… blue??

Harry spun around, looking for someone  _anyone_ who could help him, explain what was happening. He looked back and Drew's face had morphed into a giant Pepsi can. His arms were straws, reaching obscenely for Harry's neck. The next thing he knew, his mouth was forced open and Pepsi was being poured down his throat. He gagged on the horrible flavor and odd flatness of the soda. Hadn't it just been opened?? Shouldn't it be more carbonated?

He could feel himself choking and didn't think he would last long. Why was everything going so horribly wrong?

-

He woke with a start to feel Liam shaking his shoulder roughly.

"You okay, mate?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just had the dream again."

Liam looked sympathetic and clucked his tongue softly. He sat down next to Harry on the bed and distractedly fluffed the pillow.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I just- I just want to try and forget about it."

Liam smiled sadly, got up, and walked out the door, tossing over his shoulder, "I'm making breakfast. Come down when you're ready."

-

It's like this.

Harry and the rest of One Direction had signed a contract with Pepsi a few weeks earlier. Things were going great, they had filmed a commercial. Drew was friendly and they boys had had fun making it. But after a while, Harry got frustrated with his new Pepsi loving image

It's not like Pepsi was a bad soda (well…), it just wasn't as good as Coke. But it wasn't Harry's job to make these decisions, so he forged on. He drank Pepsi during interviews and at highly populated parties. When interviewers asked which soda they preferred (a contractual obligation, of course) Harry would answer Pepsi.

But Coke was always at the back of his mind.

-

The first time Harry was caught with Coke, he was in the tour bus bathroom, chugging the soda. Which was difficult, to say the least, because it was so fresh and carbonated. He was pausing to take a breath in-between gulps of flavor explosion when the door flew open

"I knew it!"

It was James, one of the managers.

"I knew you had a Coke! I could hear the sweet fizz of carbonation through the door! Did you honestly think you would get away with it?"

Harry was at a loss for words. If he was being honest with himself, which he usually tried to be, he didn't think he was gonna get caught.

So he went through the motions. He apologized to the managers and to the rest of the boys, promising better behavior from then on. Liam was the most sympathetic. Probably because he had quite enjoyed Mr. Pibb before this whole Pepsi deal had gone down.

-

The second time Harry had a Coke, he was much more careful. When the other boys decided to take a walk around the city, Harry begged off, claiming a stomach ache.

He went back to his hotel room and grabbed the Coke from his carry on, taking it once again into the bathroom. He cursed the lack of locks on the hotel doors and started the shower, covering up the noise as he opened the can. The room filled with steam rather quickly and Harry began to sweat. It didn't matter, though, because he had a refreshingly cold Coke. He took his time, savoring it, letting it swirl over his tongue before he swallowed it down. His fingers traced the lip of the can and he sighed, enjoying his privacy. His form of release.

He heard a thud from the adjacent room and froze, his lips on the mouth of the can.

"Harry!" He heard Zayn's shout through the door.

Harry began to scramble, looking for an escape, mumbling to himself, "Oh fuck fuck fuck  _fuck_  what do I do?"

"Harry!"

Zayn's voice was closer this time.

"Louis said he left his phone in here, do you know where it is?"

Harry heard Zayn reach the bathroom door and knew what was about to happen. He didn't think. He leaped into the shower and tore the curtain closed behind him.

Zayn slid the door open a crack and peered inside. "Harry, you in here?"

"Yep. Just showering."

"Oh. Have you seen Louis' phone?"

"Nope. I'm afraid I haven't."

"All right then. Feel better, mate."

"Can do."

Zayn closed the door behind him and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

He tallied up his damages. Wet shirt, wet pants, wet underwear, "ugh," and his Coke. His Coke had filled up with shower water. Harry let out a wail that sounded like a cat in a dark alley in the middle of the night, howling to its brethren.  

He leaned against the shower and slid down the wall, bumping a little harder than he'd expected on the floor. Coke sloshed over the side and Harry sighed, defeated. He hadn't turned the water off and he just sat under the unforgiving spray, mourning his loss, vowing to have a better plan the next time.

-

It was a Friday night and that meant one thing and one thing only.

Get photographed with Pepsi.

And make it believable.

The thing was that management had given up pretending they didn't know about Harry and Coke. They knew. Harry had been caught too many times, drinking a cold and refreshing Coke. Usually late at night in some seedy, suspicious location. Too many times Harry had been found with his fingers around a Coke in a bathroom stall, milking every last drop he could from the can. Fingers tightening off and on as he swallowed.  

So, yeah, they knew.

The thing was, that they couldn't really do anything about it. They could only stop him when they caught him doing it, and Harry was becoming much better at hiding his clandestine activities. All they could do was make sure he was seen with Pepsi as much as possible.

That's what Friday night was.

The hired car pulled up outside the club and the boys tried to collect themselves before stepping out into the cameras. Zayn tugged at his quiff and Liam pulled his hand away, leaning in to whisper in his ear. Niall was vibrating in excitement for the night ahead and Louis was surprisingly quiet. But Harry didn't have time to ask him about it because as he opened his mouth to speak, Louis opened the cab door and led them into the flashing lights.

-

The party was hotter than usual. Not as in "whoa this is a hot party, really bumpin'!" but it seemed like a thousand degrees on the dance floor. Harry drug himself away from the hordes of people and flopped down next to Zayn at the bar. Zayn gave him an apologetic look and pulled his hand from his shirt pocket, producing a pack of cigarettes, "I was about to go out for a smoke. Sorry, mate."

"Hold on," Harry reached across the bar, waving his hand to get the bartender's attention. "Another, please."

He turned back to Zayn and grimaced. The bartender pulled a fresh Pepsi can from the mini fridge below the bar and smirked as he handed it across to Harry

Harry said thanks anyway, because that's the kind of guy he is. He followed Zayn outside and leaned against the wall, cracking open his Pepsi.

He looked over at Zayn and opened his mouth and the complaints just kind of- fell out.

"I don't understand why I'm the only one forced to drink this vile shit. Why can't I just have pints like you all?"

Zayn just kept smoking.

"It feels like my kidneys are malfunctioning. Jesus, now I know how Liam felt as a kid.

"And don't get me started on that fucking bartender. Every time he hands me one of those he gives me this  _smirk_ and I just want to tell him that I'm not normally like this. I'm normally a Coke guy. I'm not  _choosing_ Pepsi, that's for sure.

"OH and not to mention the fact that he keeps mentioning, oh  _so_ casually, that they usually don't make rum and Cokes with Pepsi. You think I don't fucking know that?!

"God."

Harry poured the rest of the Pepsi down his throat and made sure to lift the can up high enough for the cameras beyond the fence to catch the familiar brand name before dropping it in the bushes. He couldn't be fucked to find a waste basket at this point.

Zayn dropped his smoke and crushed it with the toe of his boot.

He took a deep breath, "You done?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay. The reason you have to drink this shit is because we're not all getting caught drinking Coke all the time."

Harry opened his mouth to protest but Zayn cut him off.

"Let me finish. You and Liam are the only ones that prefer Coke in the first place.  _Liam_ knows how to control himself. You don't. The rest of us can drink what we want because when we actually go to grab a drink, it's a Pepsi. As for everything else, it'll get easier. Someday we won't be like  _this._ We won't be always under the spotlight. The contract will run out and you can tell everyone about you and Coke and Liam can come out with Mr. Pibb, all right? As for right now you need to be more careful about these kinds of things. You talking shit about Pepsi is almost as bad as being caught with Coke. Pay more attention to where you talk about these kinds of things. It'll be okay."

Zayn ruffled Harry's hair in a not entirely condescending way and went back into the club.

_'It'll be okay'_

Zayn's words echoed in Harry's head.

_'It'll be okay'_

It wasn't.

-

Three hours later and Harry was about six drinks past falling down drunk and really fucking surprised that he had yet to actually fall down. He'd given up on the rum and Pepsi when he'd come back in from talking to Zayn and was now drinking straight shots of rum.

It wasn't as bad as it all sounded, really. Or maybe it was. Harry wasn't really cognizant of his surroundings anymore

And then he saw it. A Coke. On a table in the corner

It was like a scene out of a movie or something. It  _looked_ cold. The can was covered with a sheen of condensation and Harry could see a lone drop roll down the side.

He knew it must belong to someone else, but at this point in the night, Harry didn't really care anymore.

-

The next thing he knew he was in another bathroom stall, hands wet and mouth cold, and  _really,_ it was disconcerting how often he found himself like this anymore.

This time Louis was standing over him, hands on his hips, eyes and mouth wide with anger.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

His voice was loud and Harry curled into a tighter ball, trying to ignore how cold the floor was. He winced at the volume of Louis' voice and put his hands over his ears like a petulant child, shutting out the world. He just wanted it all to end. He had a headache, he was nauseous, his eyes were burning, and his hair was tangled beyond all belief.

All he wanted right now was for Louis to take him home and let him sleep.

Apparently Harry said that out loud. Or maybe Louis saw the despair on Harry's face. Either way, Louis took a breath and all the fight left him. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Harry's middle, pulling him to his feet.

-

Everything after that was fairly blurry but somehow Louis got him into a cab and back to their apartment. There was murmurs of showering and tea and  _talkin_ but none of that happened and Harry fell asleep, curled into Louis' side, a hand fisted into the fabric of his t-shirt.

-

When Harry woke up his mouth was dry, his head was pounding, and his whole body felt beaten. Louis watched the telly over Harry's head and tugged absentmindedly at his curls.

Harry groaned and Louis chuckled softly, "How you feeling?"

"Like complete and utter shit, if you must know."

"Well, I'm gonna make you some tea and by the time I get back you're gonna be done showering and changing out of those clothes. You need to get more-  _lively_ so I feel like less of a dick for yelling at you."

-

Harry did both those things and was lying on his back in the bed when Louis got back. He wasn't feeling very lively, but he certainly felt less dead. He took his favorite mug from Louis with a smile and settled back. The tea cleared his head and he sipped slowly, not wanting to have the discussion he knew they needed to have.

In the end it wasn't as bad as he'd expected.

"I'm not going to tell you to change. You shouldn't have to change or  _hide_ who you are because of some fucking contract. Just- just be more careful, okay? I don't want this to hurt the band. More importantly, I don't want this to hurt you."

Harry knew things would have to change, he would have to monitor his actions more carefully. For now, all he wanted to do was forget. He wanted to forget the clinical feel of a Pepsi can in his grasp. The legal obligation he felt when he swallowed down the bitter contents. The way a stolen moment with Coke felt like a cold bath in a crystal pool on a hot day. The fact that every day he violated this stupid contract and hurt things more and more not only for himself but for his best mates in the world. He just wanted to lie back with his best friend and do his best to forget everything.

He kissed Louis sloppily on the cheek and threw his legs onto the older boy's lap. Finishing his tea, he ran his fingers around the rim of the mug, glancing at Louis through his eyelashes. Harry pulled up the blanket, covering them both.

"Let's go back to bed."

Louis eyes were already drifting shut.

"Okay."

For now, it was enough.


End file.
